Limbo
by charley07
Summary: Holly J's been in a car accident and it's left her in limbo between Life and Death. With a little help from a familiar face, she has to make a decision between the two men in her life if she wants to wake up and rectify the decisions she's been making.


**This probably isn't my best work ever but it's something I put together to resolve the Declan/Holly J/Sav triangle. I like to believe that if Sav understood things better, he'd step aside because he knows it's the right thing. Anyways, it's just a oneshot so let me know what you think. I'm pretty happy with it. New chapter of "Monkey in the Middle" soon.  
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**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

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Holly J woke up early Friday morning and made her way down the hallway to the kitchen, expecting to find her parents having breakfast. Instead they were nowhere to be found.

"Mom?" she called out, looking through the rooms. "Dad?"

Assuming they'd gone into work early, she got ready for school and made her way outside to wait for Sav to stop by on his way. By the time seven-ten rolled around, he still hadn't arrived so she grudgingly walked by herself.

"Sav!" she yelled when she reached Degrassi Community School. "Stop ignoring me!"

Sav, however, continued walking into school. Holly J noticed he looked incredibly upset. As she looked around, she saw that people breezed right past her, some looking nearly as sad as Sav had.

"Fiona!" Holly J called out as her friend emerged from the crowd. "Fiona?"

"They can't hear you," a male voice said from behind her. "They can't see you either. Yelling is doing you absolutely no good."

Holly J turned to find a familiar looking boy standing behind her. "Who are you?"

"My name is JT York and I went to Degrassi before—,"

"You were stabbed and killed," Holly J finished quietly. "Right, I remember. It was right before we all transferred from Lakehurst." She paused and then gasped in horror. "Wait, if you're here and you're dead, does that mean I'm dead?"

And suddenly, the events of the night before came flooding back. The car accident, the blood, the flashing lights of the ambulance. Holly J's knees buckled and she fell to the curb.

"You're not dead," JT told her. "Not yet, anyways. Technically, you're in limbo right now and whether you live or die is up to you."

"What does that mean?" Holly J demanded. "I choose to live. There! I should wake up now, right?"

JT chuckled. "It's not that easy, HJ. You have to earn that right."

"But you just said it's up to me," she pointed out.

"It is," he confirmed. "It's up to you and how you plan to change your life."

"I like my life," she told him.

He sighed. "But do others like you for the life you lead? If I'm not mistaken, you played a major role in the prison Degrassi has become, right? And you're dating your friend's ex-boyfriend without a care in the world as to how she feels about it. You dumped your old boyfriend without letting him explain the decisions he made. You can be completely selfish. You expect everyone to follow your orders. You want—,"

"Okay, I get it!" she yelled, cutting him off. "I'm a terrible, horrible person. But I promise I'll be better if you just let me wake up."

"Me?" JT repeated. "That's between you and science."

"Don't you mean God?" Holly J scoffed.

"Do I?" JT replied. "Would you like to see your body?"

Holly J considered this. "I don't know. Would I?"

JT snapped, the scenery changed, and Holly J found herself standing in a dark hospital room, staring at her comatose body. Someone had managed to pull her hair back from her face but it didn't matter. She had one black eye, a cut down the left side of her face, and bandages on her neck. Her right arm was in a cast and her left arm had three tubes coming out of it.

"Not a pretty sight, eh?" JT asked from his place on the windowsill. "You'll get used to it."

"Used to it?" Holly J repeated. "I don't want to get used to seeing my cold, almost lifeless body. I want to wake up. How long have I been like that?"

"Well, they brought you in last night around nine-thirty," JT reported. "You were on your way home from the home of Fiona and Declan Coyne, driving in the rain, when you hydroplaned into a guardrail and flipped your car. Your parents have been in and out since then and Anya McPherson stopped by this morning before school, as well."

"Sav hasn't been here at all?" Holly J realized.

JT shook his head. "No, but in his defense, his parents don't know you two are in a relationship and by the time your accident happened last night, he wasn't allowed out without an explanation."

"Right," she breathed. "I fought with Declan last night."

"Ahh, the ex," JT nodded. "What did you fight about?"

"Everything that's been going on with us," she answered. "He's only been visiting lately but he's managed to turn my life upside down in the meantime."

"Maybe he just wants things to go back to what they used to be?" JT shrugged. "Before you broke up, weren't you happy?"

Holly J scoffed. "Isn't everyone happy in a relationship before the breakup?"

"I guess so," JT agreed. "But has Declan done anything hurtful to you? From what I can tell, you've given in to him."

"How do you know all this?" she demanded. "You're not God."

JT laughed. "That's true, but I can see things differently from where I'm at now. Things are clearer than they were when I was alive."

"So why are you helping me?" she wanted to know.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "We're from the same place; we know a lot of the same people. You're struggling with who you are and I know what that's like. I didn't have the choice to live or die but you do and I want to help you make the changes so you can live."

Holly J frowned at her body. "But how can I make any changes from limbo? It's not like I can do anything."

"Not true," JT interjected. "You can do plenty. Conscious decisions must be made and you can do that here in the in-between." He paused thoughtfully. "Would you like to start with school? A lot of people blame you for what happened at Casino Night."

"And I have accepted that," Holly J stressed. "What can I do about it now? Demand that Simpson get rid of the security detail and uniforms? He won't do that."

JT shrugged. "How do you know?"

"Because Sav and I have spent countless hours in his office, begging him to just punish us and not the entire school," Holly J answered. "Simpson won't listen." She sighed in frustration. "I still don't know what I'm supposed to do while in limbo, JT. My body is right there, almost lifeless!"

"Let's get out of here," he suggested, snapping again.

"As many of you know, Holly J Sinclair was involved in a terrible car accident last night," Sav was announcing on the television in Holly J's English class when she and JT appeared in the back of Ms. Kwan's classroom. "As of right now, she's unconscious at Toronto General Hospital currently in critical—but stable—condition. We wish her the best and if you'd like to offer any words of encouragement, please see Anya McPherson or Fiona Coyne during your lunch period."

"Karma," Owen muttered from his seat near the window. "Dumb bitch cause all this crap."

Holly J scoffed and stood over Owen's desk. "You bastard! You were in the boiler room with Alli Bhandari!"

"He doesn't hear you," JT reminded her. "And besides, there's really no reason to argue with a guy like that."

"Whatever," Holly J grumbled. "Where's Fiona?"

"In her biology class with Anya," JT replied, motioning for the door. "Shall we?"

Holly J walked down the hallways in her uniform and felt out of place. "This is bizarre."

"Of course it is," JT murmured, walking behind her. "You're half dead."

"Right," she whispered. "So, I know I'm supposed to make these conscious choices or whatever but could you help a little more than that?"

"I can only really help you on one matter," he told her. "And the one I want to help with is the biggest—Sav versus Declan; it's the most important."

Holly J shook her head. "Not yet."

"But you have to know which direction to go in," JT stated.

"I don't," she lied.

JT stopped walking, snapped, and took her away from the school and back to the hospital room. "You should."

Seated in the chair next to Holly J's bed, holding her limp hand, was Declan Coyne, dressed in the most casual outfit she'd ever seen on him—jeans and a gray t-shirt.

"He went back to New York this morning," Holly J remembered.

"And came right back," JT filled in. "Fiona called him and he never even made it out of the airport." JT took his seat by the window. "He loves you, Holly J, and nothing was going to keep him from being here."

Holly J stood at the foot of her bed. "What am I supposed to do, JT?"

"Listen to him," JT suggested.

Declan held Holly J's hand to his face and kissed it softly. "I guess the only good thing about this coma is that I can say what I want without you slapping me or storming away; you're pretty good at those two things lately. I don't mean to make things hard for you but I just need you to understand that I love you in a way Sav can't even comprehend. He's a cool guy and I know you say he's just what you need right now but it's wrong. You're denying yourself a chance to be really happy so you can prove a point."

"Prove a point?" Holly J scoffed. "I'm not proving a point."

"Shh," JT said.

"I'm sorry," Declan went on. "I know that isn't really enough or whatever but I have to start somewhere, right? I've already told Fiona that I'm staying in Toronto until you wake up and I know you're okay. Sav might not like that but he'll just have to deal with the fact that I'm completely in love with you and I'm not going anywhere." He looked around. "And for a guy who says you mean everything to him, I don't see him anywhere."

"He's in school!" Holly J cried. "Ugh, Declan is so frustrating."

"But you can see he obviously loves you, right?" JT pressed.

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. But that doesn't mean his methods of approach are okay."

"All right," JT agreed.

"Declan," Mrs. Sinclair said as she and her husband walked into the room. "What are you doing here?"

He stood up. "Fiona told me about the accident and I came as soon as I could."

"Well, that's very nice of you but it was unnecessary," Mrs. Sinclair went on. "If I'm not mistaken, you and Holly J are no longer together."

"So what?" Declan demanded, standing up. "Just because we broke up doesn't mean I don't still love her. Your daughter means more than anything to me and this is exactly where I should be."

Mr. Sinclair frowned. "My wife and I would like some privacy with our daughter. You're more than welcome to come back later in the evening. Visiting hours don't end until nine o'clock."

"All right," Declan nodded, picking up his coat. "I'm praying for her."

Holly J followed him out of the room and stopped when he sat down in an unused doorway and dropped his head into his hands. It was instinct for her to reach out to him.

"Don't," JT warned. "All he'll feel is a breeze and that will freak him out."

Declan buried his head into his arms and Holly J could tell he was crying.

"Declan?"

The Coyne twin looked up to see Sav standing over him.

"What are you doing here?" Sav went on. "Haven't you done enough damage in the last several weeks?"

"I've apologized to Holly J for all of that," Declan answered. "I don't owe you anything."

Sav smirked. "You're so self-righteous, aren't you? You think you deserve the world and expect it to be handed to you on a silver platter. I know you slept with her."

"I did," Declan confirmed. "But don't worry, she told me she regrets it."

"I'm not sure about that," Sav grumbled, sitting down across from him. "She's been so distant since you started coming back around."

Declan stared at Sav intently. "Holly J and I are meant to be together."

"You think I don't know that?" Sav scoffed. "Do you think I don't wake up every morning in fear that she's going to dump me that day so she can get back together with you? It's a nightmare to be Holly J's boyfriend because there will be a time when she breaks up with me."

"Then why stay with her?" Declan wondered.

"Would you just dump her?" Sav shot back. "I get that you love her but you made some mistakes."

"I'm not that guy anymore," Declan argued. "I started a charity and I'm there all the time. Holly J knows all of that."

Sav shook his head. "You know you can't just toss money to some foundation and expect her to run back into your arms. That's not exactly her style. Holly J has to _see _the change and from what I can tell, you've been fighting a lot lately."

"We fought last night," Declan whispered. "We fought and she left angry and I'm so afraid that all of this is my fault."

"It's not," Sav shook his head. "You can't blame yourself for this, Declan. It was raining and the roads from Fiona's condo to Holly J's building are awful."

"But she was mad at me," Declan muttered. "When she's mad, she can't focus so there's no way she was watching the road as close as she should've been."

Holly J stood over the two boys and was almost stunned by their conversation. "They're not fighting."

"Because they know who you're going to end up with," JT replied. "Think what you want about boys but we tend to know the big stuff. Sav understands he's fun for you right now but he knows that Declan is more your speed for the future."

"He's good like that," Holly J breathed as tears filled her eyes. "But Declan…"

JT patted her shoulder. "I know; I've seen it."

"So what now?" Declan asked. "I go back to New York and give you and HJ the rest of the year?"

"As much as it pains me to say this, I don't think so," Sav frowned. "If this has taught me anything, it's that time can be fleeting and I shouldn't stand in your way anymore."

"But I'm not sure Holly J will see it that way," Declan frowned.

"I will," Holly J nodded, knowing only JT could hear her.

Sav stood up. "I'm gonna go talk to her and when I leave, I'm done. You two should be together, Declan. I've just been too stubborn to see it."

Holly J watched Sav walk down the hallway and disappear into her room. Declan remained on the floor.

"It's Declan," she decided. "I think I've always known it would be Declan. I was just so hurt by what he did before that I couldn't bring myself to admit it."

JT leaned against the wall. "That's a major decision, Holly J."

"Well, I love him," she shrugged. "I never felt for Sav the way I do for Declan. And in regards to Mr. Simpson, he and I can figure it out from there. He'll offer a fresh perspective."

"That's it," JT smiled.

She looked at him. "What's it?"

"You can wake up now," JT declared. "You can go back to your life the way you were meant to. You've been making poor decisions, Holly J, but if you've finally admitted to yourself that Declan is your future, it's a step in the right direction."

Holly J let out a relieved gasp. "So how does this work?"

"You can wake up anytime now," he told her. "I'm done here." He started down the hallway.

"JT!" she called to him. "Thanks."

"Just doing my job," he shrugged. "Good luck, Sinclair." As he continued walking, he disappeared into the light from an open room.

Holly J looked back down at Declan and knew in that moment she wanted to wake up when he was with her. She wanted him to be the first person she spoke to she sat down next to him, as close as she could be without touching him, and just waited. He sent a few texts to his sister but mostly sat in silence while the time passed. She saw her parents walk by, meaning they'd left Sav alone with her body, so she knew she was hearing Sav's breakup. Part of her wanted to be there for it but the other part knew it would be hard to take. Instead, she just waited with Declan, happy to be with him again.

"Hey," Sav said an hour later. "I'm going to go, man. Good luck with her."

"Thanks," Declan said. "Thanks for stepping aside."

"Just doing the right thing," Sav chuckled. "To be honest, I don't think I've ever really gotten over Anya anyways. Maybe it's time I talk to my parents about her for real."

Holly J expected Declan to jump up and run to her room but he didn't. In fact, nearly two more hours passed before he even moved and when he did, it was just to use the restroom.

"Why aren't you going to my room?" she demanded as the clock struck five o'clock that day. "We've been sitting here since this morning."

Finally, at seven-thirty, Declan made his way to Holly J's room and found Fiona painting the redhead's toenails a dark red.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"If Holly J knew what her nails looked like, she would freak out," Fiona replied.

Holly J inspected her feet. "She's right."

"Sav's out," Declan reported as he sat down in the chair next to the bed. "He was here earlier today and told me that he's going to step aside for us to be together."

"Excellent!" Fiona squealed happily. "Now we just have to convince her."

"Yeah," Declan muttered. "He was very noble about it; I'm not sure she will be."

Fiona shrugged. "I'll negotiate something with her. She's been so against talking seriously with you because she feels like it's a disservice to Sav, especially after you guys slept together after the theater awards."

Holly J tapped her foot impatiently, wanting her best friend to leave so she could wake up. She wasn't exactly sure how it was going to work and she wanted time with Declan before visiting hours ended for the night.

"All right, I'm going home," Fiona said twenty minutes later after she finished the mani/pedi. "I'll see you there?"

"Around nine-thirty," he confirmed. "Later, Fi."

Once Fiona was gone, Holly J took a deep breath and closed her eyes, wishing to wake up. When it didn't work, she frowned. "An instruction manual might have been nice, JT."

_"Sorry," JT's voice said from nowhere. "It's another thing to figure out for yourself."_

"Some guide you are," she grumbled. "Uh, I don't know what to do." She walked around to the side of her bed and stood over her body. "Do I just like, climb in?"

_JT's voice sighed. "Just press your hand to your body's hand. You're so needy, Holly J." _

With one last deep breath, Holly J touched one hand to the other and instantly felt the connection back to her body. Everything hurt but all she could think about was opening her eyes to see Declan in a way she'd probably never seen him before. It took a lot of strength but she managed to raise an eyelid.

"Hi," she whispered, her voice straining against the action.

"Holly J," he breathed, pressing his lips to her forehead. "I'm so happy to see those green eyes."

"Declan," she murmured, motioning that she wanted his hand. "I've heard everything."

"Everything?" he repeated. "You heard Sav?"

"I did," she said. "And he's right and you were right. We've just been wasting time by being apart. I love you; I've always loved you. You just hurt my pride and that's important to me."

Declan's eyes filled with tears. "I love you so much, Holly J, and I'm going to do everything I can to make it all up to you. I'm going to be here until you recover and then we're taking a long weekend to wherever you want to go."

"I don't care where we go," she breathed. "Just knowing you'll be here in the morning is enough."

"I will," he assured her. "I have to leave at nine but I'll be here as soon as visiting hours start tomorrow and I don't care what your mother says."

"I'll deal with her," Holly J promised. "She has to know how important you are." She smiled up at him. "Kiss me, Declan."

And he did.


End file.
